I can’t believe how narrow-minded and pig-headed some people can be! I am actually quite worked up when I heard that there are people (young, self-righteous and using religion as a blanket to cover their ignorance and narrow-mindedness) who thinks guys who joined Dating Agencies are ALL flirts and up to no good, and that it is a sin to join “such services”.

I have personally profiled and consulted almost two thousand singles during this 3 years at The Dating Loft, and I really like to invite such self-righteous people to come here and interact personally with the singles and found out from them what is their motivating factors for joining dating agencies. Do they do it because they have too much money and do not know where to spend on? Do they do it because they are incoherent flirts who wanted nothing more than to try to bed each woman that they came across?

I really feel injustice on behalf of my male members. I totally agree that there are definitely black sheep around – we had men who called us asking if we provide ‘escort services’ or looking for ‘extra girlfriends’ especially when we first started out. An insistence on face to face profiling will usually suss out such men who are too gutless to even try to meet us. Even if they do come up here and tell us frankly they are already married or are not looking for any serious relationships, we will usually be very up front with them that we are in the business of promoting long term relationships. The membership fee will be the next deterring factor. Which flirt in his right mind would pay a significant amount to try to meet girls through us when they could have easily meet more girls online or in the pubs and bars without much costs involved?

Why paint all men with the same brush, when you are not in their shoes? It is a basic human need to love and be loved and why condem them for taking actions to fulfill this need? Came across too many people who hid behind their supposed faith in God/Gods that he/they will provide the one for them….or it is destiny and fate, one cannot force, should just go with the flow. I am not saying that you should mindlessly go on dates or hurt other people in the process, but at least have the guts to take charge of your own life!

Do not say its all fated or God will provide when all you do is to go home after work and watch TV, hang around the same group of people all the time or when you allow yourself to look like a dog – allow yourself to go fat, ugly, or unlovable with your cynical attitude and prickly shell. No one likes to go near a porcupine, save the pricks for the truly narrow-minded. Remember what loneliness is when you are 50 and sitting in front of TV chewing fat with an old dog for company.

Dating Tip: A closed Mind = A closed Heart = Alone

Shared another heart-warming anecdote with you:

Had coffee with a friend whom I had met only for the 2nd time! She is actually a childhood friend of my fiance and we had hit it off when we met. She is a lively, cheerful and independent lady in her early 30s, who is running her own businesses.

When we finally met up for coffee after almost a year, I immediately asked how her relationship is going and whether she is going to get married. She answered, “On the verge of breaking”. This is the start of a long mutual sharing on relationships; parental and love relationships.

She shared that she was very angry with her parents, especially her mum for almost 9-10 years. She had an elder brother and a younger brother who could not get along and lived in the same room as they have very different habits and lifestyle. So when the family have their own place, there were only 3 rooms. Her parents then made the decision to have her continue to stay with the grandma while they moved to the new home.

Hurted and rejected by the parents’ decision, she only went back when necessary and did not communicate much with the mum for many years. Always thinking to herself and taking the stance that she is an outsider and they are a family.

She took almost 10 years to get over her first relationship in college that also only lasted for a few months. When the guy broke off with her (it was a long distance relationship), she felt it as if it was her family rejecting her again, and held on to her anger and hurt for a very long time.

The turning point came when her business mentor one day gently chided her, “You are still behaving like a child. How long more are you going to continue to be angry with them? Parents being parents, you have to give them a platform to acknowledge their mistake.” She plucked out her courage while cleaning the stall with her mum and told her that she was actually very angry with her and very hurted by the decision. Her mum paused and said, “Your dad said I made the wrong decision too.”

She was so happy with the reply! That one sentence lossens up the knot in her heart after so many years. Her relationship with her family have since improved a lot and she goes over very often now for meals and catching up on each other’s lives. What a difference an apology (even if it’s not direct) makes!

#No 1 Tip: Always say Sorry and mean it.

Beth and I are very fortunate and happy to be of help to Genecia Luo in her dating journey, from learning about her preferences, knowing her better as a person and personally selecting the dates for her and doing the reviews with her…..

During this process, we really find out what a down-to-earth person she is inside beneath all that glitz and glamour! She is definitely someone for keeps! – for the right person of course =P Apart from being tall and attractive, and having a really good stage presence (after all she’s Miss Universe Singapore 2nd runner up in 2006 and Miss World Singapore), she speaks well and is confident, intelligent and mature and of course down-to-earth!

Genecia is also a very driven entrepreneur, having set up her very own Training school for beauty queens (and kings). Find out more about her work as well as her proteges who have been winning the crowns at various international pageants at www.inqueenz.com

At the end of the day, she is still an ordinary woman yearning to find a companion for life. He should be mature, independent, intelligent, supportive of what she is doing and gives her a shoulder to lean on if needed. Guys! If you thinks you fit the bill, drop us a short introduction of yourself at http://thedatingloft.com/tdl/?page_id=569.

Tips on How to win the Battle or Pursue a woman: